11-22-08

I’m so happy that I’m almost bubbly.

ALMOST.

Around 40 minutes ago, I received a call. It was from a guy. Lolz.

The number was not in my contacts list, so when I picked it up, my initial reaction was “sino po sila?”.

Someone murmured something, which I didn’t hear, so I asked again.

“Ayel” was the reply that I got.

Dunno what to say, so my line of thinking went from oh my God, Kakashi died!  To what the hell are you calling me for?

But he told me things that were totally unexpected, and honestly, I can say that I am hurt.

There are things that we don’t want to think true, but it’s not like we can do anything about them.

At that point in time I was glad I wasn’t as narrow-minded as I initially believed. I thought that any word from him would send me to fumes, and I would tell him to fuck off, but I didn’t.

I actually took time to hear from his side, what happened according to him and how he thought about certain people and certain things. He explained this and that to me and honestly, I don’t know what and WHO to believe anymore.

It’s like these people are screwing with my mind.

I don’t want to say that I don’t believe Ayel, but I don’t want to say that I don’t believe Andrew either.

Right now I’m thinking that they’re both somehow messed up.

Make no mistake. I told the two of them about this.

I always did tell them that Andrew is a sadist and Ayel is a masochist.

Sexual connotations not included in that statement.

I mean seriously, do you hang out with someone you’re pissed with? That’s just sick. The other party obviously will get to your nerve faster than most people and you will most likely be more agitated than you would normally be.

And men are such horrible creatures when they are angry.

There are people who can control their anger for a time but definitely not all the freakin’ time. That will result to early death and a whole lot of wrinkles. The early death I don’t mind, it’s the wrinkles that get to me.

I’d love to say that my conscience got the better of me, but surprisingly, it didn’t.

I even told him “okay lang ba na hindi muna ako mag-sorry ngayon?” cuz I honestly couldn’t do it yet. Blame it on the pride.

Yes, yes, pride is bad, but it’s not like I can avoid feeling it. It’d be hypocritical to say that I was sorry when I really wasn’t.

But now my hatred is directed towards someone else, and I’d rather not know him… or her for that matter.

I say a lot of bad things about the objects of my hate. Tongues are sharper than swords, after all, especially in this age where swords are considered part of history and nothing more.

The funny thing was, since it’s his birthday tomorrow (yes the date is still in my mobile phone’s calendar), he said that if there’s anything left of his cash he’d give a treat, which I refused cuz that would really be awkward. I don’t know how he’d feel about it but I know I’d feel awkward. I told him I’ll buy him something as a peace offering.

It got to me that he felt conscious whenever he’s walking in a place where there are engineering students cuz he feels that he’s that he’s being glared at, and he probably was too.

Okay, for that I felt guilty. But my pride eventually won.

I told him I’d fix it but he’d have to wait cuz I’m still cooling down.

This is probably the problem with me. Although I don’t make it a point to hate someone or something on a daily basis, once I’m angry, it takes a long time for me to forget.

I’m like a vacuum tube. Lolz. Or a picture tube.

I will probably post a public apology after this, but my hate will linger on someone else and I will be looking out after myself more.

I know for a fact that you can’t please everybody, but that doesn’t mean you can’t strike back at the one or two or the hundred who hates you.

I wasn’t born to be the object of their mortification. And like what I’ve said before, if they have time gossiping about the affairs of other people, why don’t they spend it studying STRENGTH OF MATERIALS, DYNAMICS OF RIGID BODIES, ELECTRONICS ENGINEERING, ADVANCED ENGINEERING MATHEMATICS and CIRCUITS 2.

I’d love to say that I’m not the kind of person that strikes back, but I can’t.

I personally believe that revenge is best served cold. And I get my revenge every single time. It might take days, months, years, but I get it. No other way around it.

KUDOS to Ayel who called me and explained everything (from his part) to me. I probably won’t get much sleep tonight as I’d be pondering and gathering humility to apologize.

It will take a while, but I WILL APOLOGIZE.

Screw big fat liars, by the way.

Whoever he is in this situation.

backstabbers go to hell and beyond!
if you fucked up bastards have time to waste gossipping about other people, why don’t you study mechanics of deformable bodies instead???
you make fun of my appearance ne?
the eyes, the lips, the weight issue, why didn’t you notice the flat nose of all things???? c’mon???
if its about the looks, dude, i have mirrors at home y’know. so i know eactly what i look like and what i lack.
after all,having eyes as big as mine, details are pretty hard to miss
but if it’s appearance that’s the issue here, don’t you think i have a lot to say about you????
i always hated the way you dressed
the tie, which is so NOT by the way, really makes you look dorky
your hat makes you look like a beggar
your skin is so…………. ugh!! i don’t even have the words!!!
you’re FAT okay, just plain FAT
and you’re SHORT!!!
short!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ah…… always wanted to say that, but my parents always said that for friends, appearance is Not an issue, so i never really thought much about it
but seeing that we’re backstabbing friends, i think this is the right time to let my thoughts let loose
HOMO!!!
don’t get me wrong
i posibbly like gay porn
but if you’re going to make your porn,
please LOSE all the FAT you have
i might get distracted by your flably tummy that i might not get to notice all the hot and steamy making out you’re doing with your partner
of course, this is all assuming that anyone would actually have sex with you
seeing how ugly your skin is
lolz
doesn’t yor back hurt from sucking everyone’s dick including your own??????

do u think i think i’m pretty wen i’m with you????
on the contrary, my backstabbing friend, i have inferiority complex, talk to my therapist about it why dontcha
if you want her number, ask it from me personally
if you have the gall to, that is
but, seeing that its you, you might
lolz
lose the hat and the tie
you look dorkier than ever